Severed
by she-with-the-pen
Summary: That awful Potter boy, secrets scribbled in a potions book, the lure of the Dark Arts, and a certain girl named Lily Evans. This is the life of Severus Snape.
1. A Failure to Communicate

**Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter****!**

Chapter 1: A Failure To Communicate

"Hey, Sev, I was just wondering, there's a Hogsmeade weekend in a few weeks. Will you—," but I stopped short. Sev was frowning down at the contents of his rusty old cauldron, already full to the brim, though potions hadn't started yet.

"What?" he asked distractedly as he added a few snake fangs to the brew. He hadn't looked up yet.

"The Hogsmeade weekend, I was just wondering—" but just then the potion ate through the already corroded cauldron, causing fluorescent yellow liquid to squirt onto the table. Sev cursed and fumbled for his wand, but I already had mine ready. One flick and the hole was repaired.

"Thanks Lily, I really appreciate…um…." a Slytherin boy at the next desk caught his eye and he faltered. "I could have fixed it myself!" he said defensively.

"Of course you could have," I said, completely taken aback. "I… I guess we need to clean this up." I looked at the smoking and pitted remains of the table; whatever Sev had been mixing had eaten clean through metal and three inches of wood. "What were you_ making?_"

"Nothing, just an experiment." The reply was too quick, though and it made me suspicious. I decided I'd get it out of him later. Mind wandering, I reached for a rag and start mopping up the mess on the desk.

"DON'T!" But it was too late. The potion seeped up through the thin cloth and onto my exposed skin. Everywhere it touched, burning, stabbing pain followed. Sev was instantly at my side spreading an oily green liquid over the burns. Everyone stared, probably because I had screamed. He covered the last of the burns and his hand paused for a moment, then jerked away. I saw that the Slytherin boy had caught Sev's eye again and heard mutterings about cleaning like a muggle, asking sarcastically what a wand was for. I blushed, humiliated, and couldn't stop myself from lashing out.

"What the _hell_ were you making that burns through flesh?" Screw waiting for answers!

"Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry!" I sighed, still angry; it had hurt a lot. _Finally _professor Slughorn waddled into the room, looking jovial, pompous, and generally very pleased with himself.

"And how are my two expert potioneers doing today?" he asks, still oblivious to the unfriendly atmosphere surrounding us.

"Well professor, Sniv-, I mean Severus decided to start early and almost burned Evans's hand off." Of course Sirius Black would take it upon himself to cause as much trouble as possible.

Sev sank as low as possible into his seat, still muttering "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." His attempt to hide didn't do much good seeing as we were sitting in the middle of the front row

"Lily, let me see it," Slughorn murmured, sounding genuinely concerned."

"It's alright, Severus had an antidote ready, it's fine now." And it was, the skin was completely healed, if a little pinker than usual.

"Well, my boy, it really isn't wise brew something that dangerous on your own…._But_, with an antidote this perfect, I can't really fault you. You've taken proper precautions." Slughorn smiled understandingly at Sev and slowly my best friend stopped trying to become part of the dungeon floor.

"But sir! That's not fair! You gave me two weeks worth of detentions when I tried something on my own, and I didn't _mutilate_ anyone!"

"Mr. Black, I wouldn't remind everyone that you were brewing essence of insanity if I were you." Sirius looked down at his desk, then winked at the girls across the aisle.

"Bad luck Padfoot, but you don't really want to be like Snivellus, even if it did mean favors from the teachers. I mean, 'I'm sorry, I'm sorrrrrrry, I'll lick your shoes if you take me to the Christmas party!'" he imitates Sev's voice cruelly.

"Sounds more like something _you_ would do, James," I say, pretending not to see a pair of white hands balling into fists next to me. Peter Pettigrew had been laughing wheezily for some time. James just waggled his tongue in reply to my insult. That's the trouble with those four: nothing ever bothers them.

"Alright, I'm afraid we'll have to return to potion-making for the moment," said Slughorn, chuckling. The lesson went as most of them do, but it was not nearly as fun as usual. Severus's potion was absolutely perfect, and, after a few whispered corrections, mine was nearly as good. Other than that, we were silent. Class ended and there was a mad rush to get to the Great Hall for dinner. James and his friends were first out the door as usual.

"Just one moment, if you please," Slughorn says to us. "You two have been my students for over four years now, you know I like to have a Christmas Eve get-together for my exceptional pupils." He winks. Before I can say anything, he adopts a business-like manner and says, "Only both of you missed last year, and I wanted to make sure…"

"We'll be there professor," I said quickly, smiling. It really hadn't been a good day, and I just wanted to leave. Sev caught up with me on the stairs.

"Lily, I'm so –"

"Sorry, I know. It's okay. Just tell me the next time you're working with highly corrosive cerates." He smiled a little at that. I know he thinks it's funny when I use the advanced potions terms we study (by which I mean he teaches me) outside of class. I smiled back, everything forgiven. "I guess we'll be going to the Christmas Party together. I mean, how would I get through it without you?" I couldn't decipher the look in his eyes. "I mean you are my best friend."

"Thanks. Lily." And he walked very quickly away from me to the Slytherin table. What was going on?

**Author's Note: My first story! I would be eternally grateful for reviews/constructive crit. Also, the story is about Snape, but will be told from different view points. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Malfoy's Club

Chapter 2: Malfoy's Club

Severus Snape walked dejectedly through a secret passage, pushed a tapestry out of the way, and confronted a cellar wall.

" Serpentes Linnaeus," he muttered to it. The stone slid away to reveal a doorway. He walked through it, trying to pick red fur out of his hair, robes, and school bag.

"Oi, what happened to _you_, Severus?"

"Nothing, Mulciber," came a meek reply. But beneath this show of deference, rage boiled inside him. Potter! The idiotic sadist had tried to turn him into a gerbil!

"_I bet my owl, Lyon, would really like to meet you after this, Snivellus. He does love little rodents like you."_

Potter might have some small talent for transfiguration, but human transformations were still a year ahead of them. Still, he had managed to shrink Snape down to four feet and cover him in an embarrassingly visible red fur before Remus Lupin, now a prefect, had spotted them.

"_JAMES! What are you doing? McGonagall said she'd have your head the next time she caught you!"_

"_Don't let her catch me then."_

"James_! Are you picking on first years now?"_

"_No, something infinitely more weak and sniveling, Mooney," _Sirius Black drawled. He was holding Snape's wand, which he had used to immobilize him earlier.

"_Sniveling? Wait…"_ Lupin had finally figured it out. _"Put him right again! Now!"_

Unfortunately the transfiguration had only been partial, so the counter spell wasn't completely effective. Lupin looked confused when Snape didn't move after James had performed the corrections.

"_Sirius."_

Black reluctantly removed the immobilizing spell. Snape lunged viciously at him and took his wand back before Lupin could do this for him too. He was so humiliated he couldn't even enjoy the cracking that meant he had broken one of Black's fingers in the process.

* * *

In the present, some first year girls were gawking at him. Snape realized that he had been glaring at a wall for the past five minutes.

"I think something's wrong with him."

"Well that's obvious, look at his _teeth_!"

Oh, and that too. Potter's spell had made his front teeth extend past his lower lip in a ridiculous imitation of a beaver. He snarled at the girls and pulled out his wand. The girls fled up the stairs to their dormitory. Before the door shut, he heard one of their shrill voices call out

"Come on girls, my eyes arebleeding from looking at that."

Up in the fifth year boys' dormitory, Severus pulled out his copy of _Intermediate Transfiguration_ and pointed his wand at himself. It seemed Potter had mixed a few spells (the idiot!), which was why the effects were proving so difficult to correct. He had just finished removing the last traces of the spells when Avery slunk in.

"Got your face back to normal then?" he sneered.

When Severus had first come to Hogwarts, he had looked up to Lucius, Mulciber, and Avery. Even if Muliciber wasn't the most gifted or dedicated student, his knowledge of…certain magic was valuable. Far more valuable than many of the pointless, mind-numbingly easy incantations taught in say charms. Not that he didn't like charms class though! Lucius was different than Mulciber. He knew how to keep the teachers happy as well as serve his own purposes. Hence the Prefect Badge that shone on his robes. Lucius was simply a good ally, and, though it was shameful to admit, mentor. Then there was Avery: a complete moron. He believed himself to be on the same level as Lucius, Mulciber, and Severus. He was not. All he had was a passion for making people miserable, rather like James Potter. Severus briefly wondered why Avery had not been sorted into Gryffindor, the home of brazen attention-seeking simpletons, with one exception. Unfortunately Avery was in his year, so he would have to put up with him until graduation.

"Hey, I'm talking to you Sniv—"

"What is it Avery?" Lost in his thoughts again, Snape had forgotten that Avery was actually in the room with him.

"Lucius is having another of his meetings is the seventh year dormitory. Reptilact Brothers only."

"I'll be there in a moment."

"Suit yourself."

As soon as Avery shut the door, Snape busied himself with applying a spell that would keep his wand hidden up his sleeve and let it slide down into his hand at a moment's notice. He really would have to snap out of it if he was going to the meeting. Getting lost in his thoughts was not a good idea with Avery, Potter, and Black around. Snape's father often wondered whether there was "anything going on in there" when Severus's face went blank as he thought. His father…. Such thoughts weren't worthy of attention, especially not here.

* * *

"Brothers, we have convened today to make a decision that will affect all future meetings."

Snape noticed that Narcissa Black fidgeted when Lucius said 'brothers.'

"We, who are blessed with the wisdom to see the world as it really is know the value of magical ability. Thus, we follow the teachings of the Dark Lord, which tell us that muggles are inferior."

Regulus Black feigned snoring, causing Lucius to shoot him an annoyed glare.

"Come on Lucius, get to the point."

"Right then. What I was going to say was: Should we allow those individuals who call themselves 'Muggle-borns' into our ranks?"

The Slytherins yelled angrily and hissed in answer. Loudest among them was Barty Crouch Jr., a third year who hung on Lucius's every word. So this was what the meeting was about. Severus suddenly felt a sense of foreboding. All of the sudden he wanted to get as far away from the Slytherin Common Room as possible, but that was out of the question. Lucius yelled to make himself heard over the din.

"Brothers, I give you Prescott Drim." A first year boy with red hair and a pinched face was pushed to the front of the room and made to stand next to Lucius. He looked like he regretted being there. "Prescott has muggle parents." Lucius continued, allowing time for the audience to express their feelings. "He has no magical relations at all, that he knows of. And yet he is here, and he says that he wishes to join us in the fight for magical supremacy and rule. We are a fair organization, are we not? I say that anyone sympathetic to our cause be allowed to join the Brotherhood."

Narcissa's head jerked upon hearing the last word. Everyone else stared at Lucius in disbelief, but before they could say anything, he added "At a price." Now Lucius had the complete attention of everyone, and he seemed to enjoy it. The silent room was filled with tension as the Slytherins waited for Lucius to elaborate.

"Prescott, if you have the noble ability to perform magic as you claim, then _PROVE IT!_" and the room was filled with flying jinxes and curses, all aimed at the young boy. Snape half walked, half ran out of the dormitory, not wanted to hear the sounds coming through the door he left swinging open.

Covered in a cold sweat, he stopped to take in his surroundings. He was seven floors above the Slytherin Common Room. He was also several feet away from the Gryffindor Common Room. This was not smart, not with what had happened with Potter earlier today. Why had he come? The portrait of the Fat Lady swung forward and noise blasted out of it, reminding him of the awful cacophony in Lucius's dormitory. But in the next second Severus wasn't thinking about that at all. When Lily walked out, her expression was not one of fear or panic. It seemed impossible, and for a moment he felt a complete disconnect from her. It was terrifying.

"Sev? Severus! Are you ok? You look like you're going to be sick."

"I…nothing. It's nothing. What's that your holding?" he said to distract himself.

"Oh, I was just helping Mary with her Muggle Studies homework. She asked me the difference between a telly and a telephone!" Lily giggled and Severus tried to focus on that sound and that sound only. But when he looked into her green eyes, he felt nothing but terrible guilt. He wanted so much to prove himself, change the world, become a Death Eater. It was only fitting that he joined Lucius Malfoy's pre-Death Eater club. They had just gone a little too far. There wasn't anything inherently wrong with the Reptilacts, or the Death Eaters. There couldn't be.

**Author's Note: **Hopefully I have not strayed too far from canon with this… As always, I'd be eternally grateful for reviews! Thanks!


	3. Happy

**Author's Note: **Thank you so much to Death by Default, thefireplanet, violinbelle109100, and Smashing16 for the wonderful reviews, and I'd love to hear what anyone else thinks! Hope you like it :)

Chapter 3: Happy

The next morning was Saturday. As always, Snape rose with the sun; sleeping in was akin to asking to be cursed. He flipped through his _Advanced Potion Making_ book for a while, thinking about the things he wanted to try. Trained monkeys could perform magic (Sirius Black was living proof of that) but it took talent, cunning, and ambition to create spells. It was also extremely dangerous. Just last month a seventh year Ravenclaw had been sent to Saint Mungo's when his "undetectable knowledge boosting charm" had gone wrong. What a stupid spell to try to create anyway, when there were potions that could do the same thing! If Snape was to make an original spell, he would want his creation to do something no one had done before…. He had managed to modify a few unrelated incantations, the result of which was a hex that made toenails grow unnaturally fast, but it wasn't the same thing.

"Arg!" someone was gagging and coughing violently in the four-poster bed next to his. Severus heard Avery's voice next.

"Time to get up, Rosier."

The gagging stopped, and Rosier said, "What the hell was that for Avery? It's Saturday!" Avery sniggered.

"Let's see if Snape is up."

Snape hurredly swept the curtains of his four-poster aside with his wand so Avery wouldn't give him a wake up call too.

"I believe we are all awake, Avery." Avery glared at him before smirking and hexing Rosier again. Snape made his way out of the dormitories then, before either of them could come up with any more brilliant ideas.

Hardly anyone was in the Great Hall, _they _hadn't been hexed out of bed. It was a surprise, then, to see Narcissa, Regulus, Barty, Mulciber, Lucius, and all the other members of the Reptilact Brothers already seated at the Slytherin table. Prescott Drim was not present.

"Oh, Severus, glad you made it!" Lucius said overbearingly.

Snape was in no mood to be diplomatic. "What are you talking about? It's breakfast."

Lucius ignored this. "Well, here you go Severus. All yours." Ceremoniously, he presented Snape with a green pin in the shape of an R.

"What's this nonsense?" Snape asked flatly, but he thought he knew. He had had enough of Lucius's overly theatrical club for a while.

"Severus! These are our club pins. To make us official." Lucius eyed him defiantly. The little metal R glinted faintly in Lucius's palm, a barrier between them. Severus didn't take it, but returned the taller boy's gaze.

"So the R is for Reptilact?"

"It stands for Repticlactus. Reptilactus Malfoy, my uncle. He died doing the noble work of the Dark Lord over the summer."

So this was where Lucius had gotten the name. Contrary to all his recent frustrations with him, Snape felt his respect for Lucius rise. The war was taking its toll on everyone, but it was families like the Malfoys that were really laying everything on the line to improve the Wizarding World. Tobias Snape's face came unbidden into Severus's mind and in the next instant he took the pin from Lucius.

"Filthy mudbloods!" he snarled, startling even himself with this change in behavior. They ruined everything, got in the way of everything. Just think of the things that Wizarding kind could do if they didn't have to worry about hiding from the muggles! And how were the mudbloods any different from the muggles? They were worse! Unwelcome intruders taking something they had no right to, something too good for them. Lucius might be pretentious, his Slytherin followers dim-witted and uncomprehending, but the Dark Lord had the right of it, and they were the only ones who saw that.

Severus's head reeled with revelations, but he was brought back to earth by the sight of Lily walking across the Great Hall from the Gryffindor table. He imagined the stupid, slow expressions on the faces of Mr. and Mrs. Evans, and then the smile that Lily always wore when she saw them. He couldn't tell her about his newfound understanding of the world, his plans for the future. She was too apt to see good in everything; she wouldn't understand that things had to change, even if it meant people getting hurt in the process. For the thousandth time he wondered how she could have _them _for parents, but every rule had an exception. Severus pinned the R shaped pendant to his cloak, careful to smooth his collar _over_ it.

------------

"Go on, ask me another one, I need the review."

"You know it as well as I do Lily." She and Severus were doing some last minute studying before the semester Potions final. After that, it was Herbology and Charms, and they were free. For the first time Lily had convinced her parents to let her stay at Hogwarts for the Christmas Holidays, and there was a glimmer of hope that December 25th might be…fun.

"Please? We can't all be brilliant at Potions." Snape pretended not to have heard this.

"Alright. What are the ingredients for the Draught of Living Death?"

"Powdered root of asphodel and an infusion of wormwood, everyone knows that. You're going easy on me!" she protested.

"Easy? Very well, where do bezoars come from?"

"Goats' stomachs," she feigned a yawn.

"What's the difference between wolfsbane and monkshood?"

"Umm…wait, I know this. They're the same thing right? And you can call it aconite too."

"Let's go take a Potions final," He said, and Lily smiled, knowing that if Severus thought she knew the material, Slughorn would be over the moon about her abilities.

As it turned out, they need not have studied wolfsbane, the Draught of Living Death, or bezoars, because Slughorn gave them a practical final.

"Don't look so smug."

"Smug, I'm not smug. It's the holidays after all."

"Right, this is all Christmas spirit, not the fact that you had the best potion in the class and Potter managed to make himself bald."

Severus couldn't control himself anymore, "And Black turned himself green!"

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen you this happy," Lily teased.

In Herbology, Snape thought about what she had said. It was true, he had rarely been this happy. He had accepted the inevitable: collateral damage was just part of any revolution. And now that he had accepted that, his way forward was clear. It was an incredible feeling, and though he didn't hold with such concepts as destiny…. Amid these profound thoughts were more mundane satisfactions. Black was not there to make fun of the dragon dung fertilizer he spilled on his boots, and Potter didn't have any hair _to_ rumple when girls passed. He was probably with Black in the hospital wing at that very moment, crying his eyes out over the loss of his _true_ love. But the humiliation of his enemies, or even the discovery of his life's calling could not compete with the trivial event that night for his attention. Tonight _he would be going to Slughorn's Christmas party with Lily._ At this moment, Severus Snape was happy.


	4. Muffliato

**A/N: **Sorry it's been such a long time since an update! I do plan to carry on the story, and am very excited to get to the parts after their graduation if anyone's interested in reading. Anyway, thank you very much to Evelynn Daie, Smashing16, Eriolchan, Faded Summer, WritergirlAD, Death by Default, thefireplanet, and violinbelle109100 for the alerts, favorites, and reviews!

**Chapter 3: Muffliato**

It seemed that Avery had taken to bursting into the dormitory every time Snape managed to get a moment alone, though this time he had brought Lucius and the others with him. Snape hoped against hope that his spells had worked, because if not, they would see him standing in last year's school robes, worn, fading, and too short.

"Severus, are you coming? Or do you have…_other_ arrangements?" Avery asked nastily.

"Other arrangements?" asked Mulciber, eyes narrowing with suspicion. "What other arrangements would he have?"

"No, I guess you wouldn't be doing anything else. But, wait! I remember! Aren't you going to the party with that mudblood?"

Instantly all heads turned to Snape, expressions hard. He had not thought of this. Of course Slughorn would have invited Mulciber and Avery, star beater and chaser for the Slytherin quidditch team. And Lucius was Head Boy.

"Who are you going with?" Lucius asked quietly.

"I…"

"I said _who are you going with_?"

"Lily Evans."

He had never thought saying it would bring him shame. Mulciber's mouth twisted into a smirk.

"Now _she's_ a looker."

"But she's a mudblood!" Avery whined.

"They're still good for snogging and—"

"Yes, we get the point," interrupted Lucius, which was good, because the room seemed to be getting very warm. "Severus doesn't mean anything serious. As long as he remembers what's really important…. We'll see you at the party."

The group strode off and Snape sighed with relief. Their comments might have bothered him, had he not been so grateful that they had their excuse. No one would question him now.

The corridors were deserted as nearly everyone was at dinner in the Great Hall, and when Severus realized that there was no one to see him, he raced up to Gryffindor Tower. Lily was just stepping out of the portrait hole when he arrived. She was wearing read dress robes, though they paled next to her brilliant hair.

"You look beautiful, Lily." The words had slipped out before he realized what he was saying and he gazed at her, mortified.

Lily just grinned mischievously. "Yeah, right. I'm gorgeous. Like Raggedy Ann."

* * *

Slughorn's office was lit in shades of deep red and green, which shifted across the floor as if they were underwater. A few couples were slow dancing in the center, including Lucius and Lucille Lestrange. Narcissa Black eyed them resentfully from a corner. Slughorn himself was moving through the crowd with an agility uncommon for a man of his girth.

"Ah, Mr. Peers, over here if you please! These are the two I was telling you about! We must have a picture!"

The scent of Firewhisky preceded a gangly man with a camera swinging around his neck. Lily threw her arm around Severus and smiled brightly, but Mr. Peers appeared to be having trouble.

"Sirius Black must have made the punch," she muttered as the man chased a canister of film across the floor.

"Nah, this bloke'd be dead if he had," Snape answered.

Lily burst out laughing and the camera flashed blindingly in their faces. They drew apart, though Severus rather wished that Mr. Peers had taken a bit longer hunting down the film.

"Ere's yah picsuh. Murrychrismsssssss." The drunken photographer stumbled off into the crowd after handing a square of paper to Lily. Slughorn descended on them.

"Ah. Well then, there are plenty of people I'm sure will be delighted to meet you two. Gaia? Miss Evans, this is Gaia Krio, head of the Department of Experimental Magic. And Severus, come this way." Snape was yanked away, while Lily tried to converse with a witch who looked like she had given up the power of speech several centuries ago.

"Severus, this gentleman is Icarus Quidd, the editor in chief of _Enterprising Elixirs_." Slughorn turned to Quidd.

"You know, Icarus, Severus and a few of his classmates have shown an extraordinary prowess at Potions. So much so that I think I'll hold that competition I usually save for my sixth years."

Quidd raised his eyebrows, "The Draught of L—"

"Now Icarus, don't go giving away the challenge before it's even started! Though Mr. Snape here is almost certain to win it anyway!"

"Horace, surely you are exaggerating about the boy's abilities?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Slughorn smiled and left to talk with an attractive chaser from the Holyhead Harpies.

"Boy, what is Golpalott's Third Law?" asked the potions journalist.

"It states that the antidote for a mixed potion will include all of the antidotes of the individual potions, in addition to an extra component." Snape was bored already. Evidently Slughorn thought that he had a future in a potions career, and maybe he did, but writing for _Enterprising Elixirs_ definitely wasn't it.

Quidd continued to question him on various potions and looked more and more impressed. He was just about to say something when Severus noticed something odd. Avery was talking to Lily over by the dance floor. It looked as if they were just enjoying friendly small talk, but anyone who knew Avery also knew that he only spoke _of_ "mudbloods" to ridicule them. He would never willingly speak _to_ a muggleborn.

"I have to go," he said, escaping before Quidd could stop him. The room was packed, making it impossible to move two feet without bumping in to anyone. He strained his ears, desperately trying to hear what Avery and Lily were saying.

"…your parents?"

God, Avery was going to do this right here, in front of everyone. Lily looked wary, but not affronted…yet. Severus had almost pushed through the crowd when he hit a solid green wall.

"What do you think of mudbloods Snape?"

Severus was jolted out of his train of thought. Lucius and Mulciber had blocked him. So Avery wasn't working alone. Fury swept suddenly over him as he realized what they wanted: for Lily to hear his answer. Sure enough, Avery was motioning in their direction, and he and Lily were making their way across the room. Snape's life would be hell if he didn't give them the answer they wanted, but if Lily heard him… hell also.

"Don't want to say? Then why don't I tell you what I think of them?"

Lily was almost across the dance floor, she would be able to hear them in a moment. She wouldn't understand, it wasn't time yet.

"Severus," said Lucius slowly, enjoying every moment. "I think that mu-"

Snape's wand rose, pointed at Lily, and a single thought filled his mind.

_Muffliato_

"-dbloods are nothing more than impure scum."

The party continued around them, meaningless, nothing to what the boy in front of him had tried to do. Tried? He had done it! And yet, Severus inexplicably felt as though disaster had been avoided.

"Sev? I'm going outside, I can't hear a thing in here," Lily shouted, as if she were deaf.

It seemed too good to be true. Could Lily not have heard?

Once she had left, he turned back to Lucius. What the _hell _had they been playing at?

"Terribly sorry about that, I guess it wasn't the most political thing to do in present company. But now you can tell us what you really think."

Was he joking?

"You already know how I feel about muggles, Lucius."

"And muggle_borns_?"

"I would say that all people of impure blood are the same." But Lily wasn't impure!

"Severus, just be sure you _do _remember what's really important."

"Right, Lucius." Snape turned on his heel, still disbelieving. Lucius, who had always offered him chances, not taken them away. Lucius had done this. The relief was there as well. James Potter, or even Remus Lupin could never balance so many relationships with such disparate personalities in play. He had done it.

Not many people were left at the party. Mr. Peers, the intoxicated photographer, was still trying to waltz with an alarmed house-elf, but most of the guests had retired for the night. Lily was waiting for him outside. It seemed like a miracle she was still there.

"Sev." Lily was tapping her ears as if trying to clear them. "I think I can hear again." She smiled.

"Lets get to bed," he sighed. The night hadn't turned out as he hoped.

"Wait a minute."

Lily took out the square of paper the photographer had given to her and tapped it with her wand. A second, identical picture peeled away from the first. She gave him the copy.

"Alright, now we can leave."

After walking her up to Gryffindor Common Room, he returned to his own four-poster, studying the picture. His photographic self smiled slightly, eyes on the girl next to him. Lily laughed at his joke, her face devoid of worry or fear. He took one last look at the picture, then tucked it in a corner of his trunk.

Yes, he had managed to keep both Lucius and Lily happy…this time. But Snape was beginning to see the strain it might be to keep this up. He would just have to work harder in future. That was the way of the world.

* * *

As in many of his dreams, Severus found himself in Hogwarts. He was standing in the Great Hall, and he didn't give a thought to the fact that the two middle tables were missing. In fact, the only thing he thought about was that standing in a room devoid of people was a waste of time, however insignificant their prattling was. Deciding that it would be more beneficial to seek out the library or one of his professors, Snape took a step. Instantly the scene dissolved. Lucius, Mulciber, Avery, Sirius Black, and James Potter stood far away from him, wands held loosely at their sides. But beside Severus stood his father and muggle school teachers, still wearing ignorant, superior expressions. And in the middle of the two groups was Lily. She beckoned him away from the muggle crowd, but he couldn't move a step. Lucius's snide voice carried clearly over the distance.

"Well, come on Snape. That is, if you're one of us."

The muggles around him stirred, as if noticing for the first time the boy in front of them.

"Think you're different than us do you? Think you're better?" asked a particularly stupid looking muggle. Severus considered whether he aught to dignify this with a response.

"Of course I am."

His father glared at him.

"Boy, what makes you different than us. Than me?"

The Reptilact Brother pin hidden under his collar came loose, piercing his skin and jolting him out of the vision. Only the last question still echoed out of the dream as he opened his eyes.

What a stupid dream. But then again, Severus thought all dreams were stupid. Even so, he couldn't stop himself from answering his father's question.

"Magic," he said out loud. It was the true, unchanging, wonderful answer.


	5. Guilty

**A/N: **As always, feedback is appreciated. Thank you for reading!

**Chapter 5: Guilty**

"And _that_ class, is why you never want to combine spells, let alone try to come up with an original spell. Leave that to the professionals," snapped Professor Flitwick.

Avery had just insulted Sirius Black, and Black had pulled out his wand and yelled a garbled combination of hexes. Flitwick had corrected the damage done to Avery, though Severus was smiling smugly, thinking that he could have corrected it just as quickly if not more so. _And _he knew how to make spells. He didn't need some miniscule, outdated intellectual to tell _him_ what he couldn't do.

"You're smiling again," observed Lily. She stared at him quite seriously.

"Is that a bad thing Lils?" he joked.

"No… no of course not." She shook her head and raised her wand. "Avis!"

Two red and green parrots burst forth and Lily's face flushed happily. She never looked happier than here in charms, where no one could match her for talent, not even Severus. She had once explained that it felt the most like magic to her.

"_You see, muggles have astronomy, transfiguration is just changing one thing to another, and, sorry Sev, potions still kinda seems like cooking to me. Defense against the dark arts is really important, but… with charms you can really make something, _create_."_

Watching Lily in charms class, you couldn't deny that she was brimming with magic. This joke about having muggle parents must be some horrible mistake or…something. Watching her in charms class humbled him. After the unsuccessful Christmas Party, he was still positive, practically sentimental, with hopes for the New Year.

"They're really good Lily." He said, keeping his voice objective and clinical.

"Thanks." Now she was smiling. "Hey, Alice, look!" The two girls laughed as the birds they had conjured flew circles around each other. "James!"

As Lily reached to tap the other boy's shoulder, Snape raised his own wand surreptitiously.

"Muffliato," he whispered. And suddenly James was a bit too preoccupied figuring out why he couldn't hear to pay any attention to Lily. Severus smiled, not knowing that it was exactly this smug, superior expression that disturbed Lily.

* * *

Lily left Charms feeling utterly happy. It was break now, and instead of going to the library with Severus as usual, she decided to go straight to Care of Magical Creatures with Mary McDonald. Something about her old friend had been bothering her lately.

"Avis," she muttered. It was a fun spell, challenging, but completely doable. Not all that practical though. Tuney liked birds. Maybe she could conjure one and give it to her. No, doubtless her sister would torment the poor creature when she figured out it was magical. And here was another stab of annoyance toward Severus. If not for her best friend, she wouldn't have to contrive ways to get her sister to speak to her.

"Something wrong Lily?" Mary asked glumly.

"No, um, nothing. What about you, you don't look so good."

It was clear from her expression that Mary wanted to open the floodgates. But she was afraid to do so. "It's silly, nothing. I shouldn't even… but still, I thought he meant it!"

Lily really looked at her for the first time that day. Her blond curls were tangled, as if she hadn't had the energy to fix them, and her eyes were bloodshot from crying.

"Oh, Mary. I'm sorry. Whatever it is, you can tell me, or we can talk about something else if you want. That's fine too."

"I-I'm sorry. It's just…Dorian asked me to Hogsmeade. But he stood me up!" she started crying in earnest then.

Lily stopped and hugged her, saying reassuring things, though she had no idea who Dorian was.

"It's ok Mary, it'll be ok."

"I just don't know what I did wrong!" she howled.

"Listen to me," Lily said very seriously, grasping Mary's shaking shoulders. "You did nothing wrong, and any boy stupid enough to stand you up isn't worth it anyway."

Mary swallowed and nodded, not looking the slightest bit convinced.

"Now, do you want to go to Care of Magical Creatures? Or I can take you to the hospital wing and get Madame Pomfrey to give you something for…"

Mary wasn't listening anymore. She was staring over Lily's shoulder in panic.

"Mary, what is it?" Lily turned around and spotted Mulciber walking straight toward them. Mulciber. Now that she thought of it, Dorian was his first name. She couldn't think of what to do and then he was there. Mary stood up straight and thrust her chin forward, but Lily doubted it had the effect she wanted. She had no idea what she could do to help. What was she supposed to do?

"Mary," Mulciber began, "I'm so sorry about Hogsmeade, it was terrible of me!"

There was something in his voice Lily didn't like. Something that reminded her of Severus's smile this morning. If Mulciber's apology was genuine, she would be happy for Mary but, she would have some words with both of them. This particular friend of Severus's was a bad boyfriend for anyone.

"...thoughtless of me," Mulciber continued. Mary didn't look totally convinced, so he sighed and took her into his arms. To Lily's satisfaction, her friend stood stiff and unyielding there.

"You see Mary, I really wanted to be there, and I know there's no excuse for what I did, but my friend Prescott had an accident, and I wanted to be there for him in the hospital wing."

Lily snorted at this, but she could see immediately that Mary had bought every word. All the sudden they were embracing and kissing and Lily wanted to scream, wanted to scream that he was a liar and he was using her friend. Helpless to do anything, she turned away. What she did not see was Mulciber glancing around at the growing crowd, quite aware of his surroundings despite the way that he was tangled with Mary. When it seemed that the courtyard couldn't fit one more person, Mulciber drew his wand.

When Mary let out a shriek, Lily finally turned to look at them. Her friend was clutching desperately to her own robes, which seemed to be disintegrating. She looked at Mulciber in confusion, burst into tears, and fled. Mulciber and the crowd laughed loudly as her lacy pink bra was revealed. Lily's wand was out now, and she wanted blood. She wanted to hex Mulciber's offensive, wandering hands right off his arms. But Mary needed her more, so she gave him one withering look before running after her friend. Faces in the crowd flashed by, and she saw Severus. The sight of him standing there in a crowd of people who would humiliate a girl for entertainment made her sick. He wasn't laughing or jeering, but he wasn't _doing_ anything either. He didn't even see her.

* * *

Severus hurried from charms, determined to get to Arithmency early. Muliber had asked him to make another cauldron of Felicis Adversa, and he needed to figure out how to stew it for three weeks while still maintaining classes. And how to keep Lily away from his projects. He didn't want another accident, didn't want to hurt her as he had last time.

He had been walking with his head down as usual, which explained why he didn't see the crowd in the courtyard until he bumped into it. He drew his wand to encourage them to move, but stopped when he noticed Lily standing in the middle of the disruption. Next to her was that friend of hers, Mary McDonald, glued indecently to…Mulciber? Thoughts registered in his head almost faster than he could comprehend them. It was clear Mulciber was using Mary, as he did with so many girls. It was disgusting what Mulciber was doing. Mary was oblivious to her "boyfriend's" reputation. Lily was unhappy about what was going on. He, Snape, did not like that Lily as unhappy. But strongest in his mind were memories of Mary laughing at him. Mary asking uncomfortable questions. Mary talking about him when she thought he couldn't hear. And Mary warning Lily not to be friends with him. Severus couldn't cross Mulciber for this. Well, he certainly could, but he wouldn't. Not on this malicious, empty-headed girl's behalf.

As Mulciber finished humiliating Mary and Lily ran after her friend, Snape pushed away his guilt. If the girl had had a shred of intelligence, she would have known to stay away from that particular Slytherin. He didn't condone such barbaric behavior, it just wasn't his job to stop it. All the same, Mulciber was going to have to figure out how to get Felicis Adversa on his own. Severus wouldn't make it for him. He strode off, and for the first time ever was late to class.


End file.
